Plague
by vcy-chan
Summary: The Death Note slowly plagues Light's mind, driving him to the brink of insanity. Conflicted is the feeling.


**Plague**

" _Tick, tock, tick, tock…."_ The clock ticks forward and on, seconds slowly melting into minutes.

I sit idly in a swivel chair, drumming my fingers against the oak wood desk. L sits, perched on an identical swivel chair next to me, typing away, his handcuff annoyingly clatters against the keyboard.

Slowly, I turn towards him, admiring-NO studying his cool, calculating gaze behind his state, grey eyes. I wonder, what goes on in his brilliant-NO slightly intelligent head. I wonder, what sorts of gears are turning inside, and what sorts of gears are unmoving, cloaked in cobwebs at the moment. I stare at him some more, trying to filter his complicated character, into nothing but raw emotions, but my attempts are unavailing. He gives away nothing, but a liking of sweets and his childish attitude towards losing.

Part of me wants to pull him aside and roughly kiss him full on the lips, while running my hands through his wild, messy hair. Yet, the other, more ruthless part of me wants to scribble his name in the pages of my Death Note, and watch him die, a plausible death, and relish every scream of agony he elicits as he dies.

" _Ugh, why am I even thinking about this! Focus, Light, focus on your task on hand!"_ I grab fistfuls of my light, brunette hair in frustration.

"Light-kun, are you okay?" L asks, his head is tilted cutely at a slight angle, and he stares at me with his wide, unblinking eyes.

" _Damnit L, what are you doing to me?"_

"Nothing. I'm fine." I say, my voice taught and tight like a rope around my neck, being stretched out.

I remove my hands from my head, and return to my normal seating position.

"Are you sure, Light-kun? You should really let me know what's concerning you, if you're not Kira. Of course, Kira wouldn't want to reveal anything to me."

" _L, please stop."_ I mentally plead.

"Nope. Like I said, I'm fine."

"Okay then." L resumes working.

" _Thank God."_

Later on, I retreat to my apartment that my dad has bought for me. In my opinion, it was probably the best decision he has ever made. As soon as I step past the threshold, Ryuk hurls an apple core at me. I dodge it, and it lands two feet in front of the garbage can. I was able to keep Ryuk inside my apartment with a shit-ton of apples….

"Pick that up Ryuk." I lazily mutter, and saunter over to my desk.

Ryuk appears before the garbage can, and tosses the apple core inside.

I lean back in my swivel chair, and unlock my desk drawer, placing the Death Note onto the desk. I lean forward, propping my elbows on the desk, nosily clicking my ballpoint pen, trying to fight the weariness that's weighing down my body. In my defense, it was a long day, working with the Task Force.

I peel my elbows off the desk, and reach into my pocket for my phone. I felt around for a bit, until I felt the cool plastic between my fingertips. I flip the phone open, to check the messages Misa has sent me which are names of criminals I'll have to bring to justice. I guess she's at some photoshoot right now. I quickly flip open the Death Note to a fresh, blank page and raise my pen above my paper, ready to perform my duty.

Just as I felt the strong urge to eliminate….

" _Is this really the right thing to do? Taking away so many lives for the sake of "justice"?_ A part of me cries out.

" _IS IT RIGHT, IS IT?"_ The voice screams this time, holding back my urge.

" _OF COURSE IT IS; THIS IS FOR THE SAKE OF JUSTICE! It is necessary to sacrifice lives to shape the ideal world!"_ The other side of me counters, pushing my urge.

I press the pen onto the page, creating a dot of black ink. My eyes burn, as they shift from brown to red, as I let my demonic side plague my brain. I have been like this ever since I've picked up the Death Note. A side effect for using the notebook I guess.

" _Light Yagami, is this really what you wanted? Are you truly happy, living this kind of life, bearing the burden of countless lives, staining your once-clean hands blood-red?"_ The voice reverberates throughout my body, starting from the heart.

My eyes are scorching hot, as I furiously rub them with my hands.

" _AHHHHH!"_ I shriek, falling off my chair, onto the soft, carpeted floor. Ryuk stands behind me, practically laughing his head off, his eyes mischievously glowing.

" _Get up, Light. Don't listen to it. You have a job to do, that is bringing the evil to justice."_ My demonic side speaks once again.

I slowly get up, holding onto the chair for support, my eyes no longer burning.

" _Yes, that's it, now all you have to do is scribble some names into the notebook, it's that simple."_

I clutch the pen with white, trembling fingers and frantically scribble names into the Death Note at a quickening pace.

" _Tick, tock, tick tock…..."_ Once again, the clock ticks forward and on, seconds melting into minutes, but this time I'm no longer idle. I have a purpose to fulfill, it doesn't matter if the purpose is false, because right now, I have something to truly live for.

" _Tick, tock, tick, tock….."_


End file.
